You’re my Favorite!

Posted by on Mar 17, 2017 | 0 comments

It was bedtime, and I let my two little girls sleep in my bed. As I gave Holly a hug and kiss, I said to her, “You’re my favorite first-born, and I love you best.” Overjoyed, she hugged me back and quickly snuggled under the covers.

Rebekah, two years younger, stood behind her sister, watching and listening. When she heard me calling Holly “my favorite” and that “I loved her best,” I saw a look cross her face I have never forgotten. Sadness, hurt, confusion.

As I called her to me, the guarded look on her face and slow steps told me she was afraid. Afraid she wasn’t my favorite. Afraid she wasn’t going to be loved as much. Afraid she would always be in second place. As I took her into my arms, I said, “You’re my favorite second-born, and I love you best.”

The transformation on her little face was amazing. Her eyes lit up and her smile radiated joy. She wrapped her arms around me and held tight. After a goodnight kiss, she nestled under the blankets. A half hour usually passed before the two of them fell asleep, but this night they fell asleep within minutes, both of them completely secure in my love and their place in my heart.

Unfortunately, too many little girls go to sleep without that security. Eventually, they start looking for love and the “favorite” status in all the wrong places. If they find it in the wrong place, the years ahead will bring pain and grief. These young women will keep on looking for love, still hoping to be somebody’s favorite.

The reality is we all have a desire to be loved the best and to be somebody’s favorite. As children we look to our parents to meet that longing. But when parents fail, as they inevitably will, we instinctively believe the opposite:

We’re second best.

We’re not good enough.

We’re not the favorite.

We’ll never measure up.

If that plays out again and again, the pain of rejection, mingled with the lies, begins to guide our choices. Until and unless someone steps in with the truth.

And what is the truth? As much as we want our parents to love us perfectly and always keep us as their favorite, only God’s heart has that capacity. Only his heart is big enough to cause every one of us to believe we’re his favorite. Only his heart can love us the best. Only in his heart will we find our place.

Plant this truth deep in your heart – God loves you best, and you are his favorite. All the time.


If you want to share a “favorite” memory, I would love to hear from you.


Penelope Kaye

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