The Story

Who is the inspiration behind the Daughters without Dads project?

Short answer: my daughters.

Long answer: My daughters never had the gift of a father. They had a biological father, but he was never able to father them. They had a few male family members, but they were never able to father them. They had numerous connections with male members of the body of Christ, but they were never able to father them. This isn’t meant to be a criticism; it’s just the way life played out for my girls.

As a result, not only did they miss all of the huge, life connections with a father, they had no one to turn to for a dad’s solid wisdom in any number of areas. This is not to say they weren’t given nuggets here and there. Or that men didn’t reach out to them on occasion; even so, there was no consistency.

When they hit their teen years, I looked for some material to help me help them. Most of the available information focused on healing the father wounds, all of it powerful, necessary and, well, healing. But not much on a practical level.

Once they started college and became more independent, I quit looking. But the idea for practical and spiritual wisdom for daughters who didn’t have a father kept popping up in my thoughts. I finally realized – “Oh, this is actually something God wants me to do.” That’s the funny thing about a God-idea – it pops up again and again until you pay attention. So I paid attention and Daughters without Dads is the result.

My daughters are out of college now, and one is married. Still, just like thousands of other daughters who grew up without a father, they still need a dad’s wisdom. This book is for every daughter who longs for a dad’s advice. Because no matter how great a mom is, she can’t take the place of a father.

What would you say to mothers who are raising daughters without dads?

Hmm. There are lots of things I could say, but here are the top of the list:

  • First, don’t give up. Don’t jump ship. Don’t stop living because you’re not married.
  • Second, Your Maker is your husband. (Isa 54:5) Don’t. Ever. Forget.
  • Third, make sure your daughters know they have a dad – that he’s real – that he loves them – that he’s Abba Daddy. And he will never leave them, he will never reject them, he will never abandon them.
  • Fourth, pursue your own path to healing, wholeness, and forgiveness so you can help guide them to their own.

What would you say to daughters who are growing up without a dad?

Now this is a bit more awkward since I know I have made multitudes of mistakes in raising my daughters as a single mom. It’s even more awkward knowing my daughters will probably read this, and they will remember all of the mistakes I made. In any case, here goes:

  • First, don’t give up. Don’t jump ship. Don’t stop living because you don’t have a dad. You still have an amazing, brilliant future ahead of you.
  • Second, God is your father. (Ps 68:5) Don’t ever forget that. Not. Ever.
  • Third, remember God is a good God. He doesn’t make bad things happen to you.
  • Fourth, you are not the reason you don’t have a dad. Don’t. Ever. Believe. That.
  • Fifth, God is not the reason you don’t have a dad. No matter what you hear or may be tempted to believe, God is not the reason you don’t have a dad.

Any last words about The Story?

I don’t have any last words since the story isn’t finished; it’s still being written. However, I do know the ending will be amazing, awesome, and brilliant. How do I know? When I put my fingers on the keyboard and move the mouse around, God chooses to partner with me. Together we create amazing, awesome, and brilliant stories because He is an amazing, awesome, and brilliant Story Teller.